So how has everyone’s summers been? I can’t believe mine is ending in 20 days. I wish I had some exciting news to share or incredible story that prevented me from writing a blog in well over a month, but I got nothing. But if you must know what small changes have occurred, keep reading.

I got another job which means I am working about 40 hours a week, this is the main reason I haven’t blogged, the public exhausts me. The amount of people I have force a smile for when I want throw their order in their face! Today a coworker of mine SNAPPED HIS FINGERS at me and told me to go do something. Took everything in me not to yell at him right then and there. I calmly told him next time he can use my name because I don’t appreciate being snapped at (insert eye roll here). So to sum it up, I am sick of serving people and in that aspect I am more than ready for summer to end!

I know I have mentioned about my fish. Well, it has now become an obsession. I have upgraded to a 20 gallon tank and am still using my 10 gallon tank as well and saving my 3 gallon tank to take with me to college. I now own 23 fish, and one my platy’s actually had a baby!! So far it is surviving! I am impressed with myself, I have only had 2 fish die on me maybe I have the magic touch? Secretly a mermaid? I wish! I have definitely become a real fish nerd.

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT GAME OF THRONES. Well I won’t spoil anything, BUT my wait is over and this season has been AMAZING so far 😉 Winter has finally come.

Valar Morghulis my friends.

 

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Floating Amongst Chaos

I’m at the point now where I have no clue what I am doing. I am half living at home being a kid and half trying to branch out and become the adult I have been wishing to become. Everyone always told me you don’t want to grow up, and boy am I starting to see why.

I recently finished up my first year of college over a month ago, and that year felt like I was a chicken running around with its’ head cut off not knowing what was going on. It is hard to keep your wits about you when life comes full force and hits you like a semi-truck at full speed, that then backs up and hits you again. Nothing prepares you for college, or the real world.

I feel like there are two types of people when it comes to entering the ‘real world.’ There are those people who start by dipping their toe into the water to test it, then slowly they dip their feet in, and then they’re waist level and eventually they have submerged themselves in the water. I know many people who approach college and this new found freedom one little submersion at a time. And then there are people like me, who get a running start and cannonball into the deep end of the pool breaking the surface gasping for air. Might as well go all in am I right?

When I graduated high school I thought I had the next 4-5 years of my life planned out, or at least had a good idea of what it would look like. I entered college planning on doing Pre-Vet but ended my first semester frustrated and discouraged with the college level science and math. Thus leading me to completely drop the pre-vet course and take random classes I thought I would enjoy. Compared to first semester, my second one was much better as my eyes were opened to the worlds of sociology and criminal justice and I then decided I would major in Social Work with a minor (or double major) in Criminal Justice, my goal was to become a Social Worker within the Corrections system.

But that thinking was two months ago.

I am not so sure now.

My level of excitement and enthusiasm of having an idea of what I wanted to do in college disappeared and I began to question whether or not this is what I was meant to do, or if there is something else out there.

See, as the world around me continues on, and my friends and family live their own lives I feel as if I am just floating along with them. I don’t have a direct course of action, rather I am just, floating, not really going anywhere in particular but at least going somewhere.

 

 

 

 

Changing Currents

It never fails to amaze me how quickly your whole world can change in just a matter of seconds. Now maybe I’m being a little dramatic as I (by the grace of God) could have been way worse off.

Today, a relationship of mine ended. And it sucks. I know I will get through it, but until then my feelings and thoughts are raw with emotion. I have experienced worse heartaches, but does anyone ever want a good thing to come to an end? The more I look back on the relationship the more I realized we were probably better as friends, and hopefully some day my partner and I can be friends, and be able to put the intimate feelings behind us and move forward in a healthier direction.

As my relationship was coming to a close before I even knew it was happening, amongst it I have been recently making changes to my life, I have acquired a new hobby and polished up a few old ones. My newest one which I am most excited about is that I have purchased a fish tank and stocked it with the fish of my choice. I have had a great time reading up on different types of fish, tank care, exploring the aisles for decorations, and becoming an ichthus mom (Greek for ‘fish’ sorry nerd alert!). I currently have 2 bettas, a crowntail and a veil tail, along with what used to be 4 harlequin rasboras (2 have died in the last 2 weeks) two black snails, and a pleco (bottom feeder). I hope to expand more on my aquariums but the coming of college in a few months will make it harder for me maintain them without asking too much from my family to take care of them. When I get a place of my own I hope to get a couple of 20 gallon tanks and some bigger fish!

Speaking of college, this brings me to my next big change; I recently put down my deposit for the college I will be attending this fall. This was a big decision to make but I think this one of the better decisions I have made. For one, I will be closer to home and that is a plus since I got homesick a lot at my other college. I have yet to find a major but I am hopeful that this coming fall semester will confirm or deny what I have in mind of majoring. With a new college, comes a new start, and new people, and a different atmosphere. I only hope this one will be better than the last.

With college still a few months away and summer still upon us my family and I have taken up getting our garden up and running again. It has been a while since the garden was producing bright red tomatoes, dark green zucchinis and so many green beans that it felt like they were coming out of our ears! I am looking forward to making zucchini bread, and homemade salsa and tomato sauce! There is nothing better than being rewarded after hard work. As my mother always said, vegetables are nature’s candy.

Although today was lousy seemed to drag on, I feel better knowing that my partner and I did not end on bad terms, and that I have some great things to look forward to these next few months.

Until next time,

Emj

The Little Memory That Resurfaced

Do you ever have those little memories that make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside and wish you could relive that moment again? I had one of those moments today that brought a few tears and smile to my lips.

While looking through my old yearbooks I found a picture of my now boyfriend that I remember always flipping to so I could admire him. It was the summer of my seventh grade year and I had the biggest middle school girl crush on this boy. We talked here and there but at the time we were not close. Of course all the girls liked him, not only was he attractive but a big goofball as most middle school boys were and he never failed to make anyone laugh.

It was the first day of seventh grade. I was dropped off early by my mom so no one else was at the school. I remember wearing a purple flowery Charlotte Russe dress and feeling so grown up because it was the first time I had shopped at a young adult store and not a children’s store. I remember wearing tan wedges (that I still own) that felt so high  (nothing compared to the heels I wear now) and made the most wonderful “click-clack” sound on the tiles of the commons area at school. While waiting for people to arrive I remember looking at the glass case of pictures from the previous school year and running my hands through my hair because it was the first time I got into straightening my hair on a daily basis.remember feeling insecure because I was still coming out of my awkward phase and trying to leave behind the silly immature sixth grader I used to be.

The first person I saw at school on my first day of seventh grade was Liam. The boy I had crushed on all through sixth grade and all through the summer and here he was standing in front of me. I remember him walking through the doors (his first day of eighth grade) and he stopped and stared at me and said “wow, you look different in a good way, you look really nice.”  All the insecurity and stress I had felt that day were gone, and I remember walking around school with a big smile on face for the rest of the day.

It was just a small comment, but it had an impact on me, that I still remember clearly seven years later. It reminded me of how different the world was just seven years ago; how middle school feels like it is worlds away yet I can remember it like it was yesterday; how a blonde haired blue-eyed boy said the nicest thing to a girl who felt she had been overlooked for the longest time.

After seven years of friendship, it turned into a relationship that neither of us could have seen coming had you asked us even a year ago. To this day, Liam is still the gentleman he was back in seventh grade, and he is still the goof ball and never fails to put a smile on my face.